If I see another celebrity goon in a magazine wearing a Herve Leger bandage dress I will...

Ok, well admittedly I probably won't do much. It's not exactly letter of complaint material, is it? But I can't help but recoil in horror everytime I see that bloody dress claim yet another identi-kit victim.

Seriously though - I know I'm not the first to say it and I certainly won't be the last, but when will it be written into some sort of law that bandage dresses HAVE BEEN DONE TO DEATH?

"Oh man... what are the chances of bumping into someone at a Herve Leger party who is also wearing a Herve Leger dress? Mandy, you bitch!"

Oh, and if the law ever gets passed, could someone see to it that the same goes for Ugg boots? Ta x

What's that Mike Stock? Pop music has become too sexually suggestive?

Nonsense! Gaawd how terribly old fashioned. [Insert more phrases uttered by today's disaffected youth here** for full effect]

In other unrelated news, here's Rihanna in concert at New York's Madison Square Gardens. Yep, nothing to see here... It's just your average pop gig: bit of a sing song, a tame dance routine... You know the drill. I mean, yeah; so you can practically see her labia, but that's fashion right? And the microphone to crotch look? So next season. Definitely not suggestive in any way, shape or form (ahem, pardon the pun).

Above: "Testing, testing. Mike check... Well go on then, don't be shy. Say hello"

Above: "You can see my vagina, ina, ina. Eh, eh, eh.

**And yes, yours will probably be better than my attempt, which included horrifically uncool words like 'nonsense' and 'terribly'.